Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Come on Back

Its been a fun, hectic time in my life the past few weeks. As most of you know. Liz and McKinley and I are back together. Also i have started working my new job of driving the city bus for Logan City with the CVTD/LTD. I love it. Its been fun. And i got some other things in the works job wise as well.

I am not sure if i am in rut of really wanting to open up or not. I do have so much to say. But I am back in a mind set of not saying things in fear that it might upset people. Might make things bad for people in my life or offend people in my life. I know i have said before that i do not care and i was going to just be me, but its hard. I feel bad that i erased all of my old posts that i wrote while Liz and I were separated. I guess i erased them so Liz did not read them and so that she would not leave again. She knows i was not harsh against her in anyway, but I just did not want to risk anything.
But Liz has helped me understand that I need to do this. People like what i write. She knows that it helps me, it helps others. It lets me get out my frustrations and whatever other feelings i need to release.

So as i said on my last post: “ These are my opinions. If you get offended, that is on YOU, not me. If YOU don’t like what i write or say, that is YOUR fault. Not mine. If YOU don’t like it, don’t read it. I am not going to debate YOU on here. If YOU want to talk about it, email me or call me”

The first place i am going to start is with Liz and McKinley. It has been so great having them back. I am so happy. Feel so alive with them back. While they were gone and we were separated i was down, trying to float in an un-salted sea. It was hard. I tried to put on a great face. But i was hating being apart from them. My best days were when i got to talk to them. Sure, some days Liz and I were snippy at each other, but what relationship has ever not had times like those.

Liz has even said she wish she did not leave how, and when she did. It was an abrupt decision that affected both of our lives. Did it make it worse on us. In a lot of aspects yes, it really did. 

One of the main reasons Liz came back is that she felt it was the right thing to do. Liz has an amazing strength in her faith and in answers to prayers. As most of you who are LDS know, Most decisions are made by fasting, praying, spiritual guidance and following the promptings of the spirit. This decision is what was best for her not only physically and mentally, but also spiritually. There are many great articles and talks in the August 2013 ENSIGN about this specifically.

You also know from my past posts that i am not really keen on the LDS church right now and have not been for a long time, but that i do still believe in God, and that he is there for us. I prayed daily for Liz and McKinley. I wanted them back in my life. I know that he slowly softened Liz’s heart. I would constantly tell her i wanted her back, but it was her decision.

One of the last talks we had before she made the decision to come back, i asked her a question. I asked her take out what I want, what your family wants, what my family wants, and what others want, what do you want? And her answer was for her and McKinley to come back to me and be a family again. That is all that matters to us. It is the best decision for us. Some people are not happy, but as we have been told, that is ON THEM, not us. Its their problem.

Are we still slowly figuring everything out that was misplaced the past 8 months. Yes we are, but what has happened is that we are closer, more in love, and easier to forgive and not as easy to argue. We are starting a new journey together. She is my best friend. She is such a great mother to McKinley and an amazing wife. Even while she is still going through her illnesses and daily struggles she puts on a brave and happy face. She is a true inspiration to me. And McKinley has me wrapped around her fingers even more. She was not used to having a dad around the past 8 months and is starting to remember how her and I interacted before. She is the best. I love her so much. She makes me laugh. She tries our patience for sure, but we would not have it any other way.

Being together again is the best.

Quotes of the Day:

“If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you will never change the outcome”
-Michael Jordan-

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person”
-Mignon McLaughlin-

Song of the Day:

Every Night - Imagine Dragons

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