Its the holiday season, so I get to see the good, bad and the ugly of society, people and the world. The hardest part for me right now is the mentioning of God or Jesus. Its not that I do not believe in them, its just that right now its hard for me to feel anything but disgust when it comes to seeing things happen in the world and to people I love and care about and nothing good comes of it, when there is supposedly a God and his Son who care so much about us that they will never let anyone who truly needs their help down. But it seems to happen all the time, and more than it should in my opinion.
Most of you know that I have decided that being active in the LDS Church is no longer a priority. Hell it has never honestly been a priority. But I went and put on the painted on happy face that most LDS Church attendees wear.
I went to Church today. I went because its Christmas and I wanted to go with Liz and McKinley and hear some good Christmas music. I went with an open mind and heart and wanted to feel some happiness from attending and getting some feeling of the holiday season and it did not happen. It was boring to me. I just felt that I would have been much better off staying home and watching any Christmas movie and getting more meaning out of it and feeling some emotion. The testimonies were the basic generic ones that are pounded into the heads of the youth growing up with a little sprinkling of their own words and thoughts.
I made up my mind today that I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE.
I can't continue to go to a Church that I do not agree with. I don't agree with its Foundation, its history, and its leadership.
The Church right now is coming out with these ESSAYS to help answer questions about some of the history of the Church, its Teachings, and other things. These Essays are doing nothing but adding more fuel to the fire. They are contradicting old rules and teachings from the past and bold face lying about others.
My main problems that have lead to me to where I am today in my standing outside of the Church are these:
1. Joseph Smith's First Vision: There are a reported 4-5 Different Versions, but may be as many as 10.
The official version of the FIRST VISION by Joseph Smith, fashioned in 1838, nearly 20 years after the event, was unknown to church members until published in 1842.
2. Joseph Smith and his many wives. He was not just married to Emma. And Emma did not approve of him being married to others. The Church does not disclose all of them and if you really delve into this, you will be pretty shocked at what you find.
3. How Joseph Smith Really Translated the Book of Mormon.
This picture is how the Church History Teaches and what we are taught growing up in the Church. This is not how he translated it.
This is the Real way he Translated it.
"In writing for your father I frequently wrote day after day, often sitting at the table close by him, he sitting with his face buried in his hat, with the stone in it, and dictating hour after hour with nothing between us."
David Whitmer was one of the Three Witnesses of the Book of Mormon. The majority of the translation work took place in the Whitmer home.
"I will now give you a description of the manner in which the Book of Mormon was translated. Joseph Smith would put the seer stone into a hat, and put his face in the hat, drawing it closely around his face to exclude the light; and in the darkness the spiritual light would shine. A piece of something resembling parchment would appear, and on that appeared the writing. One character at a time would appear, and under it was the interpretation in English. Brother Joseph would read off the English to Oliver Cowdery, who was his principal scribe, and when it was written down and repeated to Brother Joseph to see if it was correct, then it would disappear, and another character with the interpretation would appear. Thus the Book of Mormon was translated by the gift and power of God, and not by any power of man."
"I, as well as all of my father's family, Smith's wife, Oliver Cowdery and Martin Harris, were present during the translation... . He [Joseph Smith] did not use the plates in translation"
Those are just the top 3 that I have major problems with. Some of the others are the Church Mall aka: City Creek Center, Treatment of Gays, Treatment of Women, and countless others.
I am not writing this to hurt any of you, or guide you one way or the other. I am doing this for ME, to Share what I have learned. As I have said, This is MY writings, thoughts and words. If you disagree that is fine. But I do not take this lightly. I research, study and make up my own mind on things.