The past few weeks has been a whirlwind. There have been times of happiness, sadness, despair, anger and not knowing what to do. But everything calmed down to where it needed to be at that exact moment.
As most of you know, i am no longer a participating member of the LDS Church. And some of you have asked me why. You seem to think that I am lost, that i am letting Satan take over. That i am following the words or advice from others. I get told all the time that i should just come back because deep down i know its true.
I honestly can tell you that i know that a lot of the History and teachings of the Church are not true. That is how i feel. I am not going to tell you how to feel in your own spiritual life. Its up to each individual to believe how they want and what they want. But i don't need to be fellowshipped. I don't need to hear how i am damning myself and my eternal soul / family. I know that i will never ever be apart from Liz or McKinley and all of my other family on both sides. I have never believed that GOD plays favorites. The only people i feel that will never ever get into heaven are murderers, molesters, rapists, and down right just awful people who get joy from the misery of others. I know i am not any of those so so far i have a great shot of getting into heaven or where ever we go after this life.
The past few months dealing with the extreme presence of Liz's disease has opened up my eyes to a wide range of spirituality. Everyday that i was in the ICU watching over Liz. I had time to go out into the little chapel next door and ponder. I prayed. I meditated. I knew that whatever happened was out of my hands. But i did all that i could to make sure that Liz was not going to go out with out a fight. I know how much Liz loves the Church, so i had and have no hesitation of calling my brothers and brother in law to give her a Blessing. I will never ever stop her from going to Church. I respect her enough to understand that is who she is spiritually and it helps her in all other aspects of her life.
I have read books in a wide range of subjects since my becoming inactive in the Church. Buddhism, spiritualism, how american indians worshipped, wiccans, and just a wide range of websites. I take power and inspiration from all of them. Somedays i feel a more spiritual sense to my surroundings like the Indians. Somedays I like to just think and meditate like the Buddhist. Its a daily change that has made me happy inside. I feel at peace with my decision.
This journey i am on with Liz and McKinley has been such a great experience for me. I am not saying its been a ray of sunshine, but every day is a new day with them. Something comes up, we help each other out. We are there for each other. We love each other. We grow. Its a never ending climb to whatever peak in this life that we are ascending to.
Each day, week, month, year is another step forward to being who we are i am meant to be. We might not know who we have touched, helped, inspired ever, but my hope is that we will be someone to be talked of fondly and remembered for being a better person NOW than we ONCE were.
Quote of the Day:
" We become happier, much happier, when we realize life is an opportunity rather than an obligation"- Mary Augustine
Video of the Day:
" Au Revoir" - One Republic