Wednesday, December 30, 2015

I did not know I would Help


Some of my recent blog posts have opened me up to people, and they have confided in me and thanked me for being upfront and expressing myself in a way that gets my point across.  They have told me that my words have helped them; they have shared my words with others. That means a lot to me. I appreciate it. 

I was not looking at making this blog about my transition away from the LDS Church. But it is heading that way.  Those posts have gotten the most positive responses and that has kept my confidence going and helping me feel that I am helping others at the same time I am helping myself.  
I am going to continue to share my Spiritual journey, but also my Life journey.  They will intertwine for sure as it does for all of us.  I will continue to share stories, examples and my point of view on the good, bad and ugly of the Church and my life.

I am not going to bash the Church. I am going to share my view and opinion. If it will offend you so be it. I can't worry about that.

I guess the biggest challenge of my life right now is finally cutting the strings and sending in my Church resignation.  It is hard. And it is not hard because “I still believe” or “my decision will effect countless generations of family members”. It is hard because of the way people will perceive and treat Liz and McKinley when I take that step. It has already happened. Some people have decided that just because I am following my heart, they have started to take it out on them and or assume many things about our marriage and myself.  I posted this before ( http://jonathankmarshall.blogspot.com/2015/11/adverse-effects.html )

So again, I ask you. If you feel that my decision is going to affect you and how you treat my wife and daughter, please remember that it is my decision, they support me. I am not doing anything to influence Liz or McKinley to step away from their religion.  I support Liz in going and her spiritual growth. I support McKinley in going to Primary and learning what is taught. But I am also not going to hide or shield her from other aspects of life and things that should be enjoyed and not shunned or treated as taboo.  And that goes for all aspects of her life. Liz and I are raising her OUR way not anyone else’s.

If you feel that you are not ok with it and can’t be friends or close to us that IS on YOU and I am sorry that you can’t see that I am the same person. We just have different Sunday schedules and I am sure different viewpoints on most things. But that will never stop me from being a friend.
So thank you for all of you who read this blog. I hope I can continue to help in any way you need.

Quote of the Day:

“My journey through life has led me through both light and dark places, and it’s because of those experiences that I have learned how to work through my character defects and to help others do the same” – Jessie Pavelka

Video of the Day:


What If: Five for Fighting


Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Looking Back on this past Year


Driving my bus the past few days has given me plenty of time to reflect on this past year and go over the good, bad, ugly, craziness and poignant points of the year.

There have been many instances of laughter, anger, sadness, anxiety, frustration, love and tears. 

I learned that most friends are a dime a dozen. The ones that do matter are the ones that accept you for who you are and realize that everyone does not have to be the same in beliefs or life style. 

I love my job.

I love Liz more than anything in the world. This past year has been filled with daily struggle for her. She is a fighter. One in a million. She is a fantastic mother. She is a loving wife and is willing to help anyone if she can and if we can afford to. Lately, not so much :)  She is not the same person she was before her Coma. And she probably never will be. But what has happened is, it has softened her. She lets others help. She is not as much a neat freak. She lets things slide to a certain degree. She takes life as it comes.  She has said that she does not know how much time she has left and that she just wants to not worry about things like that. If they get done, they do, if not, there is always tomorrow.

McKinley has been a blessing. She has also been a curse. She is great 95% of the time, and yes i know that growing pains are part of the process of raising kids, but man, she has my personality and its a constant reminder to me of how much of a pain i must have been as a kid to my parents.  She is also extremely intelligent. She is only 5, but is starting to do addition, subtraction and able to read words and sentences. We work with her daily. She loves to color and write and tell us stories about her drawings. She loves people and is a friend to anyone. 

I have been amazed at the kindness of strangers and people in our lives. They have gone above and beyond.  We would not be where we are right now without them.

This year was full. It also was the year where I decided to be a more vocal person. Not only in speaking to others and face to face interactions, but also in writing and sharing my thoughts and opinions in hope that i could be a help to anyone. I am going to continue to share stories, thoughts, and what I feel on this blog, facebook and emails.  Some posts might be similar to other posts and that is fine with me. I will hit on the same subjects here and there.  

I hope this year has been a good one for you and that you have grown from its experiences. Please keep in touch.

Quote(s) of the Day:

"Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful" - Margaret J. Wheatley

" The unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates


Video of the Day:

100 Years : Five for Fighting









Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Who are we Spiritually accountable to???



This post might make some of you uncomfortable.

A few weeks ago I was in a group discussion with some people on facebook and it also spilled over into work. The subject came up of being held accountable when it comes to being truthful with the Bishop when it came time to get your temple recommend. Now i know you are all wondering what was i talking about with then, with all my recent posts and thoughts on the Church and how i feel about it and how great its been releasing myself from its grip.

But one comment really struck me and I asked him point blank if he ever masturbated. No Answer from him at all. Which to me was his answer. I then commented that if you go to a Bishops interview and when he asks the sexual pure questions and you say you do not do any of them, than are you not lying and should you be deemed unworthy to enter the Temple? Of course people will say that the Church knows no one is ever perfect and assumes as much and that white lies like that do not hurt. But it is pounded into men's heads from a young age that Our Little Factories are for procreation only and not to be used willy nilly for self amusement. But as most of you guys know who read this and ladies take note, sometimes Its needed. Sometimes you have to and ladies if you can, help him out.
 ( and for one, i hate that they generalize the penis or anything thought as sexual into such an industrial sounding scenario ).  

It is something for me that strikes home because I have had a few instances with the Church and its supposed Courts of Love or Disciplinary Counsels and I felt like it was not any of their business. I look back and ask myself " Why did I go?" The answer is pressure, pressure to fit in, pressure to not be looked at as you don't take the sacrament and so on. I let my esteem be persuaded by the thoughts of others and my spiritual self suffered for it.  I actually walked out of a Church Court when the questions were getting to intrusive, they wanted details that to me were not relevant to the point. I told them as such in my way ( which most of you have experienced with me ) and told them to do whatever they wanted.  I never did hear back.

The point is that i have learned that my spiritual accountability is up to me and God. No one else has a say. I don't have to go confess to anyone. I don't need to be told that i am letting my family down and or hurting my spiritual path. And that goes for all aspects of your life and spirituality. There is so much more to worry about than what the Ward, Bishop,Friends or Family will think.  Why stress over things that have no bearing on the type of person you want to be and truthfully want to be.

I can honestly say that I am Happy with my spiritual side.  I am finally un-hiding my true self, take it or leave it.

And i wish the same for you. I know some of you believe and are steadfast in the LDS Faith that is great. I am glad that it works for you. Whatever religions or spiritual aspect you live by, just be happy and know that its ok to have thoughts outside of what is perceived or taught by your leaders. Stand up for what you believe and not what the majority thinks. Defend yourself physically, mentally and spiritually.

Quote of the Day:

"I learned in an extremely hard way that accountability falls with me."
-Stephen Baldwin-

Video(s) of the Day:

Lullaby: One Republic

( I love this song. It is one of my all time favorites. It is just comforting. )



Ordinary Human:  One Republic




Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Overcoming Frustrations


I know we all experience frustration. And we all handle it in different ways. Some of the ways i handle frustration are not good. I get mad, i get upset and i take it out on others or say things that offend people.

Frustration has been a big part of my life the past 2 years with Liz's health and her constant struggle to remain alive. Its hard going to countless medical appointments, ER visits, ICU stays and visits to other states for medical advice and all that they can say is there is nothing they can do, or all her tests came back fine, there is nothing else wrong except her HAE. And the frustration is never about Liz. I am frustrated that she can't get the help she needs and deserves except the few treatments she gets here and there. It is honestly feeling like they are at an ending point for how they want to treat her, the costs are outweighing the gains for them. Sometimes i swear they just do things to appease us and to make themselves feel like they are doing something.

 I feel for her. I feel for Peanut. Liz feels that she can't be the mom she wants to be and that is true. She can't do what the normal moms do. But she does not need to. She is teaching Peanut something much more valuable and that is how to live with a shitty disease. How to face hardships head on and how to do the best you can day by day. Peanut has learned compassion from Liz and I. She has seen me help her mom shower, get dressed, and go places. Peanut constantly says she wants to be a nurse when she gets older and that also is from seeing the ER Nurses and how great they treat Liz and how they have interacted with Peanut while in the ER. They love her. Peanut wants to go to the ER just to visit her friends. 

As a family we have learned compassion, love and giving through our Frustrations. 

It is hard for me overcoming my frustration. I know that most Doctors do not know about her disease and have and will probably not see another case of hers at all the rest of their careers, but i just wish they would listen to us and research on their own. Some have. And they are great. Some just don't listen or care and just assume what they know is right. It took almost a year to get one Doctor to dissociate regular Angioedema with HAE. Whenever he said Angioedema i would say Hereditary Angioedema right after and he would look at me like why are you correcting me. And i would have to remind him that it was not the same thing. 

Frustration is part of our days. I hope and pray that I can not get as frustrated and that I will continue to have compassion for others and give as much as i can.

Quote of the Day:

" Take the high road. No matter how much strife,and consternation, frustration and anger you might be confronted with - don't go to that level "

- Tim Gunn -

Video of the Day:

Titanium - Boyce Avenue







Thursday, November 12, 2015

It's time for a Break


I think its time for a break. I know a lot of others are also taking a break. And the break is not from life, work or anything important. Its a break from Facebook and the interactions on that site that seem to drudge up a lot of ill contempt and meanness. I have had my share of sharing some not so nice comments of trying to get my opinion across to others and all it ends up being is a never ending back and forth display of I'm right and You are wrong. It does not help anyone in the end.  I have hoped that both sides of the conversations could have been thought about and understood, but if it is a subject that objectifies their beliefs in a bad light than there is never going to be any understanding except defensiveness. I am guilty of doing both. 

 So i am going to take a break from offering my opinions. It might even stretch into my daily life. 

Over the years i have been able to open up more and be more opinionated.  I have been told that I have a mouth that Roars. I will not apologize for that. I don't have an off switch and that has been a detriment to me in some situations, and this is something that i will always struggle with.  As i have said before, if i have offended any one of you, i am sorry. I did not mean to. My tactful meter does not register sometimes.

So, i will try my hardest to not comment or state my opinion on the current daily issues. I will hold my tongue when it comes to the Church and issues that are being talked about it. I am going to strive to to the best I can to be more quiet vocally. 

Quote of the Day:

"Sometimes you have to take a half step back to take two forward."
- Vince McMahon -

Video of the Day:

Angel Eyes - Jim Brickman



Saturday, November 7, 2015

Looking Forward



These past few days have helped me realize that i am taking the right steps in my life. I am looking forward to seeing where it takes me, Liz and Peanut. I am looking forward to new adventures, to new viewpoints and meeting new people who can and will inspire me. I am looking forward to continuing to cultivate a more close and romantic relationship with Liz. Life has gotten in the way and its time we reverse that and reconnect. I am no longer going to let each day just tick away. I am going to get up and do things that i have been putting off. Its time to start cultivating my drawing again, to continue my photography, and to start selling prints and calendars.  I want to travel with Liz and Peanut and get out and experience life outside of the home and to help others with health limitations to enjoy nature and the world around us.  Liz's illness has held us back from doing a lot of things, but it has also shown us what we need to do to not feel held back. Its time we start doing that.  I am looking forward to sharing our journey with you, as well as continuing to share my opinion on things that interest and bother me. The upcoming new year is going to be a grand adventure for us.

Quote of the Day:

"Every day is a new day, and you'l never be able to find happiness if you don't move on"

- Carrie Underwood -


Video of the Day:
"It's not Right for You" - The Script









Thursday, November 5, 2015

Adverse Effects


I know I said that I was done talking about my spiritual journey. But this is bugging me. And what is bugging me is the way MY decision has affected Liz’s life and the way she is perceived and treated by others.

I want you all to know that Liz has been nothing but supportive of me and my decision. She does not like it, but she knows me and has seen that I am happier. We don’t fight at all anymore. Our biggest fights were about Church.  I love her more than anything and if I thought for one second my decision had any ill affect on her I would change that. But my decision has not changed her spirituality or the way she lives her life, or the way we are together.   

What it has done is change the way people treat and interact with her.  It is really frustrating to me, because Liz is not that kind of person, she is so loving, caring and compassionate that it hurts her to have this happen. She has not said it, but I can see it on her face.

And that is something that I knew would happen, but was hoping it wouldn’t. But growing up in the Church, I have seen it all too often. One part of a couple leaves the Church and the other spouse is lumped in with that person’s belief and supposed sins and transgressions.  And you can tell me that it’s not true, but I know you have all seen it, have done it or experienced it. I used to be that way. I assumed a lot and treated couples and people who were struggling with or left the Church in a snide way.

I support her in her wanting to attend Church, to teach Peanut the gospel and to continue her love of the Scriptures. I have not hindered her in any way, shape or form her spiritual path.  She is not falling away. She is not following me down a path of despair.  I am on a path of my own. And I am walking this path with my wife and daughter firmly planted in the Church. I guess you would say I am on the outside path of the Iron Rod.  I am not holding tightly because I don’t need to.  I have fallen too much deeper and darker areas in my life that I was afraid I was never going to get away from.  And you know what pulled me up?  God, words of encouragement from friends and family, other religions, my faith and the love of my wife and daughter.

I am asking you all too please take a look and ask before you judge.  That is something we should work on every day.  You never know what another person is going through. 

Quote of the Day:

“A man lets you know who he is by how he treats others.”
Mo Williams

Video of the Day:


-Looking for Space- John Denver



Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Same old Story



Same old Story

It’s the same old story. I have received a lot of emails and messages from friends, family and others who feel that my loss of faith in the Church is a direct result of not doubting my doubts. 
Why am I the one who you are worried about?  I am not worried. I know that I when I die, I will be in heaven. Nothing has changed that. I have not murdered anyone. I have not committed some unholy sin that will wind me up in Hell.  I know that Liz, McKinley and I will be an eternal family.  I don’t see God tearing apart families based on what Church they were a part of.

I don’t worry about your spirituality. I don’t worry about your salvation. So please don’t worry about mine. 

What I do worry about and think about daily are how are my friends doing, how their families are, if they are sick and or need help.  I don’t sit back thinking about who is going to baptize their daughter or son, or are they worthy to attend the Temple.

So it’s another week and post of the same old story.

But this week will be the last with this story.  I have talked about this enough. If you have a problem or want to continue to talk, email me at jonathankmarshall@gmail.com

Quote of the Day:

“Of course it's the same old story. Truth usually is the same old story.”
-Margaret Thatcher-

Video of the Day:

(I usually try to match the Video with the blog subject title, but I can’t with this one. So I will post my favorite video right now)


Hello- Adele


Monday, October 26, 2015

Taking the first few steps


The past few weeks I have had the chance to talk to a lot of people and get some insight into what life should be.  We all have our different views and beliefs of what Life should be and how it should be lived. And the reasoning behind those conversations is twofold. One, I want to find out what makes them tick, what they do, how they live. And two, I want to take part of what I hear and apply it to my life.

You are never too old to change. I have made up my mind that I am not going to stay stagnant. I have gifts that need to be shared, even it’s just shared between me and Liz, or me and Peanut, I will not hold back.  I am not going to give in to doubt. I have always had a hard time believing that I was good enough. I have let that doubt linger and continue to be a voice in my head. No More.

I have been re-reading this book called Taming the Mind by Thubten Chodron , it’s a great book that teaches Buddhist teachings and new age techniques on becoming a better person and letting go of prejudice, judgement and ill will towards others.  I read it a few years ago when Liz and I were separated for 9 months. It helped. It helped align my soul. I finally let go of a lot of resentment and hate that I had built up for years.  It helped me understand that I was a cyclic existence and nothing was changing. It was the same thing over and over.

I also read a great blog by my friend Emily Perry. She is such an amazing, inspirational person that has such a light of kindness and love in her life and has made it her mission to help you Manifest the best self you can be. Her posts have helped focus my own thoughts and have given me the drive to achieve what I want throughout the day, the week and so on.

Change is never easy. It is hard. It sometimes takes courage and the gall to tell others to screw off and not let the inner doubts in.  I am looking forward to my continuing change to be a better man, father, husband, lover, friend and co-worker.  I hope that you will be able to see the change.

Quote of the Day:

“Everyone thinks of change the world, but no one thinks of changing himself” –
Leo Tolstoy

Song of the Day:

“Beautiful Day” – Joshua Radin






Monday, October 19, 2015

Handing Rarity


Living with a loved one that has a rare disease is hard. Living with a loved one that has a rare disease that is also chronic and terminal is even harder.  

Now, I know most of you are saying, terminal, how long does she have?  Well, it depends. It depends on the day, the stress on her body and the day that her body finally says enough is enough. You could also say that we are all “Terminal”. And yes that might be true, but we are all terminal with Natural Causes with age. Cancer, car wrecks, murder, accidents, natural events and rare diseases are not a natural death.  You probably had no choice or inkling of it.

Most of you by now know the story of my wife Liz. She is fighting a rough, hard battle with Hereditary Angioedema also known as HAE.  She fights daily.  And the toll it takes on a relationship is hard. There are days when I want to scream.  I have talked to many people that have HAE and many of them are divorced because of it. Their spouse could not handle it. It was too much for them.

   The day to day grind it takes on us is hard to explain.

Here is an example of a day with Liz if she is having a bad attack/swell:
_________________________________________________________________________________

Normally I can tell how the next day will be by the night before. I will usually stay up later, to make sure she is breathing ok and that she is resting. I will usually call into work about 1 or 2 in the morning depending on what I feel.  I will go to bed.

Peanut wakes up and I will get her ready for school and stay up and make sure she does not bother Liz while she is sleeping. If Liz is still struggling, I will take her to the ER or call our Family Doctor and get his input and then go from there.  Normally, we go to the ER.  I get her up and help her shower. I wash her body and help wash her hair. I get her clothes and then try to corral Peanut and make arrangements to get her picked up for school or babysat.  Peanut loves the ER. She wants to go all the time, because they give her snacks and coloring books. 

While at the ER, I will have to explain again what is going on, why were are there and so on and so on.

(Liz and I are both amazed at how much we have to explain to them constantly, even though we have been there over 30 times in the past year). 

 They do their thing and get her stable and then we sit and wait and then they might have to do more testing, x-rays and medications.  They release her and maybe send her home with a prescription.

We come home and I help her to bed.  I get her situated and then I constantly check on her while she sleeps and if she gets worse, we go back to the ER and I might have to call in again the next day or two.
_________________________________________________________________________________

So that is a typical day. Throw in doing laundry, dishes and cooking and it’s full.  I get frustrated, but not with Liz. It is the situation. I feel I don’t do enough. I don’t want to let her down.  I know she gets frustrated. She feels that she is not a good wife or mother. She can’t do what she normally could do. She feels locked away most days. Since all she can do is go back and forth from the bed to the bathroom.

  It takes a toll on both of us. But I love her. I love her through all of this. I know she loves me. I know that Peanut is loved and she knows that her mom is sick and that it can’t be helped. Peanut loves to help. She gets Liz her medicine and drinks and some days just wants to lay with Liz to comfort her. 

Life with a rare disease is rough. The answers do not come at once. The cures are not there. The support of the medical community is slowly coming around to where they finally understand HAE more here in America.  The first real medication for it here was approved in 2005.

It affects all aspects of our life.  You name it, it affects it. It sucks, but we try to work it out the best way we can.

I hope this helped a little on understanding more of what Liz goes through.

We love you all,


Jon

Monday, October 12, 2015

Yea or Nay


Since my last post I have gotten emails from friends and others both supporting  my stance and what I said and some siding with my so called friends who decided to put my wife’s health issues front and center and blame my Spiritual journey away from the Church as the reason she is sick. 

I honestly do not understand that. I either don’t have the brain power to think clearly and understand where they are coming from or they are so completely stupid and na├»ve to think that a loving God would ever do that to one of his children or their family.

My wife has had this disease her whole life. It did not just suddenly appear. She has spent years battling misdiagnoses, medical tests and assumptions.  It is nothing that I caused. It is something that is unique to her. It’s a trial that she is facing with her own mortal body. I am here to help her as much as I can. I try my best daily to do that. I love her more than words. She is the mother of my little girl. She is my best friend.

Do any of you think for a second that if I had any inkling that my spiritual beliefs had anything to do with her illness that I would not be the first to the Temple every day?  I would not even hesitate and you all know that about me.

I don’t know why all of a sudden this is an issue that has come up. There are much more relevant issues right now with Liz and her health than people worrying about my spiritual well being.  Or does that go hand in hand with how the issue is perceived?

I do not know why my friends are leaving at a time when I most need them. I feel that I have let them down for a reason that eludes me. I don’t know.  Is it that I have asked for help on her gofundme page?  Should I have not do that?  One of the hardest things for me to do is to show my vulnerable side and let my weaknesses out and to ask for help.  I am sorry if I offended any of you. If I did I truly apologize. 

I just don’t know. It is something that I will probably not ever truly understand.

I feel sorry for the friends who have left. I feel that they are judging me on a merit that has no standing beside me not being exactly like them. I am the same person they have always known and the ones who have written in support of me, thank you. Your words of encouragement have meant a lot. And I am going to go against the grain and ask you, if you can, please donate to Liz.

I hope you are all well and I hope to hear from you.

Quote of the Day:

“Rivers, ponds, lakes and streams - they all have different names, but they all contain water. Just as religions do - they all contain truths.”- Muhammad Ali

Video of the Day:


-End of the Line- : The Traveling Wilbury’s


Sunday, October 4, 2015

Am I Losing others because of Who I am?????


The title says it all.

Recently, i have received some emails from some long time friends who have decided to throw away our friendship because as they say " I am not living how i am supposed to".  Some of you can probably already guess what that "living" pertains to. Yep, the Church.

I am not going to delve much into it. I am just going to say that over the past few months i have decided for MYSELF and MY Spirituality that i am no longer going to be a participant. I don't need to raise my hand and be counted, i don't need to be a number.

Most of you know that i have struggled life long with the Church. Its nothing new. And that is the most shocking part of these emails. They have known me pretty much my whole life and they are letting go of our friendship over me not wanting to attend a Church.  The one bad part of the emails that they have brought up, is that because of my attitude and as they say "EGO" on how i chose to live my spiritual life and mortal life that God is punishing Liz and making her sick because of it.  And on that i call Bull shit. I have never been taught that God will punish someone else for my misgivings.  Where did they come up with that???

How dare they even try to guilt me into coming back that way.  I look on them saying that and realize that the ones who need God in their lives is them. They need to look at what they are thinking and saying and evaluate their standards and morals.

As stated in the Bible:

Deuteronomy 24:16
Parents are not to be put to death for their children, nor children put to death for their parents; each will die for their own sin.

Ezekiel 18:20
The one who sins is the one who will die. The child will not share the guilt of the parent, nor will the parent share the guilt of the child. The righteousness of the righteous will be credited to them, and the wickedness of the wicked will be charged against them.

So Liz is not being punished for my lack of attending Church or following its teachings. And whoever thinks that, is an Idiot.

I am living the best i can. I pray, i believe in God, Heaven and Hell. But i also garner inspiration from a whole other area of religions and life. I learn new and exciting things daily. That is what life should be like.

 I am thankful that i grew up in the Church. I am grateful for the standards that it taught me. But i no longer need it to hold me up. I have found God and my spirit and i am happy being me. And if you can't accept that and want to end our friendship that is fine, that is your decision. I have never once cared how any of you were spiritually, if you attended Church, if you paid your tithing. I only cared about YOU and how your health, family and kids were. I have not changed. I am the same person you have always known.  Just a little heavier.  I have always thought of your friendships as life long. Even though we might not see each other daily, or just on facebook, or have not since high school the friendships and feelings have not left. I enjoy hearing from all of you.

I also want to thank you who have asked about Liz and have written, shared, donated and asked about her. We appreciate it so much. This year has been hard.  We continue to live day to day. We never know what the next one will bring. She has been to the ER countless times this year, the ICU a few times and has had some really scary incidents where we both thought that this was the last time we would see each other. Please continue to pray for her. And if you can donate, please do. Continue to share her page and story.








Sunday, April 19, 2015

At a loss

I am at a loss. I feel that i am doing things right, but i don't see any accomplishment of it. I hate feeling this way. I know i am doing the best I can in all avenues of my life, my marriage, my fatherhood and employment. I just feel down.

I have not felt this bad in a while. I don't know why it started or how it will leave, but i do know that i need to control it. Its bringing me down. I do not need to go down that path again. I have been there done that.  I am trying slowly to gain a grip on it. 

Quote of the Day:

"Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness"- Desmond TuTu

Video of the Day:  Someday - Rob Thomas


Sunday, January 25, 2015

All we can do is Go Forward


I started this blog a few years and it has gone through many transformations. This is the last change. This will be a daily log. It might not be to exciting, but it will be filled with what i am thinking, doing, trying to achieve, questions, experiences and stories.  I am doing this to have a better year. I am going to go Forward with who, what, where, why and when in my life.

One of my new years goal is to read One Book a Month:  I have already read the first book off my list.

It was called "Wild". It was written by Cheryl Strayed and it recounts her adventure and life changing experience on the Pacific Crest Trail. I could not put it down. She writes with such simplicity, its easy to follow and you can actually envision yourself on the trail with her, seeing what she experienced. She talks about her upbringing, family, growing up years, college, her struggles with drugs, sex and her struggles with love, marriage, work and of course the Trail and the people on it that changed her life. I recommend this book. 4.5 out of 5.

So one goal is started. I will talk about the other goals in later posts. I am looking forward to the adventure of 2015. I hope you will share it with me, with comments, encouragement and friendship.

Quote of the Day:

" Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands." - Clint Eastwood

Video of the Day:

" It's not Right for You " - The Script