Monday, October 12, 2015

Yea or Nay

Since my last post I have gotten emails from friends and others both supporting  my stance and what I said and some siding with my so called friends who decided to put my wife’s health issues front and center and blame my Spiritual journey away from the Church as the reason she is sick. 

I honestly do not understand that. I either don’t have the brain power to think clearly and understand where they are coming from or they are so completely stupid and naïve to think that a loving God would ever do that to one of his children or their family.

My wife has had this disease her whole life. It did not just suddenly appear. She has spent years battling misdiagnoses, medical tests and assumptions.  It is nothing that I caused. It is something that is unique to her. It’s a trial that she is facing with her own mortal body. I am here to help her as much as I can. I try my best daily to do that. I love her more than words. She is the mother of my little girl. She is my best friend.

Do any of you think for a second that if I had any inkling that my spiritual beliefs had anything to do with her illness that I would not be the first to the Temple every day?  I would not even hesitate and you all know that about me.

I don’t know why all of a sudden this is an issue that has come up. There are much more relevant issues right now with Liz and her health than people worrying about my spiritual well being.  Or does that go hand in hand with how the issue is perceived?

I do not know why my friends are leaving at a time when I most need them. I feel that I have let them down for a reason that eludes me. I don’t know.  Is it that I have asked for help on her gofundme page?  Should I have not do that?  One of the hardest things for me to do is to show my vulnerable side and let my weaknesses out and to ask for help.  I am sorry if I offended any of you. If I did I truly apologize. 

I just don’t know. It is something that I will probably not ever truly understand.

I feel sorry for the friends who have left. I feel that they are judging me on a merit that has no standing beside me not being exactly like them. I am the same person they have always known and the ones who have written in support of me, thank you. Your words of encouragement have meant a lot. And I am going to go against the grain and ask you, if you can, please donate to Liz.

I hope you are all well and I hope to hear from you.

Quote of the Day:

“Rivers, ponds, lakes and streams - they all have different names, but they all contain water. Just as religions do - they all contain truths.”- Muhammad Ali

Video of the Day:

-End of the Line- : The Traveling Wilbury’s


  1. I have learned that, for many, friendship only lasts so long as you both hold the same things of value. I can name only two friends I had when I was younger with whom I still have regular or semi-regular contact, and neither of them care I left the Church; one of them is like me, an atheist, the other is practicing but doesn't believe. Just goes through the motions. I don't hold that against him. My strong-believing friends and family, however have distanced themselves. They make excuses, like distance, or being really busy, but in the end it comes down to the fact that they no longer see me as 'one of them'. I can't say it doesn't hurt, it does. But the pain fades. You find new friends, whether online or in real life, who share your new values, your new viewpoints, and you can enjoy that closeness, and even disagree with them on things without them abandoning you.

  2. Thank you. I find new friends everyday. I am also losing the ones who i thought were close. I don't know if i expect to much of them or assumed that they would be willing to help or even ask about my wife's health. Oh well.... i learned and its a hard pill to swallow, but as you said, the pain will fade.

  3. A couple of things come to mind... Matthew 5:45 (God makes the sun rise and the rain fall on both the good and the evil) and the 11th article of faith: We claim the privilege of worshiping almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow ALL men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may. I don't know why mormons have such a hard time with these concepts. It's like "Let them worship how where or what they may, as long as it's the way WE want them to!"

  4. Jon, it is heartbreaking watching you go through this. One of the most hurtful aspects of mormonism is the way it can divide families and friends when someone decides mormonism is not for them. I hope that the new friends you are making will help ease the pain of losing the old and that some of your old friends will re-think what it means to be a friend.

  5. Jon, all of us who sympathize and understand your journey here have been blessed with an unconditional love. I am hoping that part of any peace that you find in your life will include some old TBM friends who will see that you are a genuine and loving spouse and wonderful father and friend, We love you and your family!

  6. The problem, IMO, is that too many people in the church are too willing to put the corporation above relationships, without any thought for the people they are neglecting. Doesn't seem to matter how close, how important those relationships may be, oiling the church machine, ensuring you are part of the working gears, absolutely must come first for those who want to secure their own exaltation. Because that is what it all seems to boil down to: fear of damnation, punishment, everlasting hell etc. that motivates a need to secure personal salvation at any cost, even to the point of discarding friendships and judging those in need. The baseline purpose of religion really is self-serving, and that can destroy friendships and families, which is the exact opposite of what the LDS church purports to do. Seeing that pattern unfold over and over and over again was something that really bothered me while I was an active member. I am so sorry that you are having to experience it yourself. No matter how you look at it, it hurts. Such un-Christlike behavior makes no sense from people professing to be the only true followers of Jesus on the earth. I just hope you can find the support you need during this difficult time.