Sunday, October 2, 2016

What are you Standing For?

Yesterday the LDS Church had their start of the annual LDS Conference and one of the talks was asking all members to "stand up" for Joseph Smith and to fight the "erroneous, slanderous and historical errors about him and the Church." I am paraphrasing of course. I am not going to do that. Most of you, who have read my posts about my losing faith in the Church, my life long struggles with it and my finally realizing that the Church is false will see this is not new from me.


I know I have said this before, but Do not Doubt your Doubts. 

Are you standing for what you were taught or for what you know? And there is a difference between knowing because of being taught and told and knowing because of learning/studying for yourself.

Why would want to be apart of a Church that for years has told/taught that if you have questions to go out and learn and research but only Church approved doctrine/subjects?  Some of the most damaging information is found on the Church's own website and in its archives.  Here is a quote:

On Truth and Questioning

"There is a temptation for the writer or the teacher of Church history to want to tell everything, whether it is worthy or faith promoting or not. Some things that are true are not very useful." (Boyd K. Packer, "The Mantle is Far, Far Greater Than the Intellect," CES Symposium on the Doctrine and Covenants and Church History, Aug. 22 1981, Brigham Young University.)

Before you stand for Joseph Smith, heck even the Church, please study the real history and look at how you feel, not what others want you to feel. If you are happy with what you know and don't want to know more that is great. Its fine to feel stable to feel safe. Just don't blindly believe everything that is said over the pulpit, taught in class or published in magazines. 



I look back on my time in the Church, with the constant struggle of wanting to fit in, to be what I thought a man should be and what a woman would want. I was constantly conflicted with who I was. I hated myself. I had guilt, shame and felt spiritually empty. I was told that i needed to live better, to pray more, to have faith, to pay tithing, go to the temple, be more focused on service and accepting callings, to read the Scriptures more.  I tried. I did all of that and what did it get me. Nothing. None of the promises/promptings from the leaders ever panned out. I heard from Bishops that if I do these things, i would find the one to marry with in whatever time period they said, some said 6 months, some said a year.  But of course, if it did not happen it was because I had no faith and was not doing what i was supposed to. 

 I look back on that and following what i was told made me miss out on a lot of what i am experiencing now.  And of course most people will swing it around and say, " YOU would have never met Liz and had McKinley", if you did not have those trials and tests. And Yes  I am truly blessed with having them in my life. I would not be who I am today without them, but I am not going to say it was inspired by God or because of past trials. It was just the perfect time for US.  

My decision to no longer be a member is not really hard on Liz. She sees that I am happier. We do not fight / argue at all anymore, sure we have disagreements, but they don't bring down our relationship as when we argued about Church. 



Recently, I have had a few people try to convince me to come back to Church. To become a beacon in the ward, because they know I have so much to give. I am sorry, but that is not going to happen. I have been clear on my thoughts, actions, posts on here, Instagram and when I was on Facebook.  I know they mean well, but I can only be nice so long until I have had enough. 

Quote of the Day:

"Religion is run by thought police. 'Obey. Listen. This is what you do. Don't ask questions."

- Tommy Chong -


Video of the Day:

True Colors -Justin Timberlak and Anna Kendrick

I just like this version of the song.





Saturday, August 20, 2016

Time to Remove




I have been going back and forth on this for a while now. But I think its time that I send in my resignation to the Church and remove my name from the Records.

People have told me that I should not worry about it since I am not active anyway, don't pay tithing (which i hardly ever did ), and have not worn the G's for years.  I know to some people they would just let it go and not worry about it.

But to me its more than just a membership #. Its a chance to tell the Church to F' Off when it comes to being in any sort of control over me, that they can't use my # as a stat for their tax exempt status, or to pad their stats on membership totals.

It will also help me clearly break away from my feelings about the Church. It will be the final straw of my sometimes negative words about it. Once my name is removed, the years of what I was taught will be removed from my mind, heart and soul and I will truly be able to worship in anyway that I want without the Church creeping in.



People have asked me what I believe. I believe in God. I believe in Hell. I believe that we are all accountable for our lives and how we live them. Just because you might smoke, had pre-marital sex, have sex while not married, are gay, bi, trans-gendered, drink alcohol, smoke pot, or are of a different religion does not mean you will never get back to Heaven. There is not just one true Church. I have never felt that God plays favorites and I for sure have never felt that he will keep families apart just because tithing was not paid,did not attend the Temple or were not active or for some other RULE that was not followed. Rules are different than Commandments. The 10 Commandments should be the standard of what the Church should follow, not amendments/rules the Church enforces and takes from what the handbook says that was written by leaders and their prejudices and own feelings.



Quote of the Day:

“I came to the conclusion long ago that all religions were true and that also that all had some error in them, and while I hold by my own religion, I should hold other religions as dear as Hinduism. So we can only pray, if we were Hindus, not that a Christian should become a Hindu; but our innermost prayer should be that a Hindu should become a better Hindu, a Muslim a better Muslim, and a Christian a better Christian.” 
― Mahatma Gandhi

Video of the Day: "Thy Will"  Hilary Scott ( Lady Antebellum )

I think its just a beautiful song.



Monday, July 4, 2016

Changing Taught History to keep up with Internet Knowledge......


Over the past few months a few of my blog posts have made people write me some not so nice emails. To tell me that I was ANTI, I was letting the Devil overtake me and so on.

All I have tried to do and will continue to do is to post things that are coming directly from the Church, that most members will not read or research. Have any of you truly read the Essays that have came out the past few years, that have changed much of the LEARNED and TAUGHT history we grew up with? I doubt it.  

I have said this before and I will continue to say it, " The Church is changing what we have been taught for years slowly but surely with these Essays and adding them into the new manuals where in the next generation our kids won't know what we were taught or it will be a more cleaned up version." Find some of the old manuals and compare them to the newer ones being issued. 

Here is a link to an article on a talk given by Russel M. Nelson about the Book of Mormon.


What i find particularly galling is that the Church now wants us to believe that there were other civilizations living in the Americas at the time of the Nephites, but as we learned growing up, it was never that. The land was the Land of Lehi's inheritance, the promised land, a land flowing with milk and honey, a land which had been kept from the knowledge of men and preserved solely for Lehi and his posterity! In fact, that's still canonized:

And behold, it is the wisdom that this land should be kept as yet from the knowledge of other nations; for behold, many nations would overrun the land, that there would be no place for an inheritance. 
( 2 Nephi 1:8 )

But now Nelson says "It is not a record of all former inhabitants of the Western Hemisphere, but only a particular groups people"

So, LDS Church which will it be? Canonized scripture, or the word of a current Propet, see and revelator? In 40 to 50 years time will Nelson have been just " speaking as a man"? As you said with Brigham Young about his blacks in the Priesthood inspirational talk in the 1800's and how it would never happen.

Funny how the banning of Polygamy happened the same year Utah became a State. You had to do that to become a State and to be allowed in the Union. And how about in 1978 when "miraculous" revelation allowed Blacks in the Preisthood, when you were days away from getting your Tax Exempt Status revoked by the US. Govt if you did not comply.  So many things are revealed as revelation and changed when things are about to hit the fan.



There is so much more to the falseness of the B of M. There are many books that are almost exactly word for word or phrased the exact same with similar scenarios that came out years earlier than the B of M. And i am sure you can find apologists from the LDS side to dissuade those books. But the proof is in the pudding. The Church is crumbling.  People are starting to see what it really is ( A Business ) hiding behind a Religion. 

Here is one book you should look up and compare it to the Book of Mormon and it was written before the B of M.

Its called  The Late War between the United State and Great Britain. Enjoy.


Quote of the Day: 

"Religion gives you a sense of certainty. It makes you feel that you have the right answers to really big questions and that you've grasped the truth." - James Heckman

Song of the Day:

Saturday, May 21, 2016

I can't do it anymore


My religious/spiritual journey has been a long one. Its been filled with guilt, anger, hostility and searching. But the past few months have shown me that there is no room in my life for any organized religion. I just can't see any happiness or life building worth on being led by leaders who's interests are fleeting at best for the well being of myself and others because they are only concerned about their celebrity  and the awe and love they blindly get from members.

I am tired of "Laws" being passed in our Gov't to appease ones religious groups standards or moral compass. Little by little our rights are being taken away because someone got offended by this or that.  Each person has the right to believe, act, say, watch, and do anyway they want. They should not feel pigeonholed to fit into what others want or feel. Each person has their own moral compass of what is right and wrong for themselves.



To me there is more to "spirituality" than a Religion. There is more ways to worship God or feel worthy of Heaven than how much tithing you pay, if you accept callings or going to countless meetings. 

The LDS Church preaches family togetherness, but what do they do? They keep families apart during the week. With meetings, young men/young women activities, callings that take up family time, cleaning the buildings. That is not family togetherness.  But to the Church it is if the families wholeheartedly believe in every single thing that is spewed from the pulpits and the magazines.

 I feel that sometimes people put that above everything else. They will leave jobs, get divorced, make extreme sacrifices to move on up the supposed ladder to Heaven and their standings in the Church. 



There is not one TRUE religion. 

Quote of the Day:

" Almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so." - Robert A. Heinlein

Video of the Day:  * warning to lds/mormon readers. This may offend you *

Trash: ( Tyler Glenn ) Neon Trees


Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Can't or Won't Answer / I won't let you Leave



Can't or Won't Answer

I have always tried to have an open mind and if I did not know something, I would go and find the answer. I love to know how things work, were developed, why they were developed.  That has been one of my biggest struggles my whole life with the Church.  I have had questions and concerns and like most of you who have left, asked questions and was met with either a " I can't answer that" or a flat out "Won't discuss those things, they are meant to be revealed a later date".

The Church does not want you to question. As they have said, "Doubt your Doubts". Why would they want you to doubt your feelings? What are they afraid of?  Some of you think I am listening or have been corrupted by Anti-mormon friends, websites or literature. 

If this is the case than LDS(.org) is the largest anti-Mormon website on the net. Almost all of the concerns former members have, have been cited and verified through the church's own official resources. Take the "CES letter" for example, when the author Jeremy Runnells wrote the letter he utilized the church's own resources to cite his concerns. He then has asked the church two questions only, "(1) If the letter is incorrect, please explain how so it can be corrected. (2) If it isn't incorrect, why am I being charged with apostasy?" His apostasy charges were still applied. Yet, his counsel refused to answer either question. 

Ironically, current Mormons are now the ones using "unofficial" sources for apologetics to attempt to answer the concerns. The church has yet to respond to our concerns with anything other than blame towards anyone who is vocally questioning in the form of disciplinary counsel.  


The CES Letter is a must read for anyone. Member and Non Member. The Church has not given any answers to Jeremy's concerns. 


I Won't let you Leave

A few weeks ago Jeff Holland spoke in Tempe, Arizona. He admonished anyone who QUESTIONS, who has doubts. He also said that HE WILL NOT LET YOU LEAVE.  He compared the Church to a boat and that to jump ship was the DUMBEST thing you could do.  His tone and his candor were ratcheted up a bit more to in my opinion instill Fear of anyone who was in the audience who was doubting.  

I feel like such a dupe for trying to pattern my life to the mold they present and want everyone of us to conform to.  I always had a in the back of my head respect for the leaders of the Church. No more. Why would you let 15 Men tell you how to live? Why do they have that big influence over you and your emotions?

Jeff Holland has no control over me. He can't stop people from leaving. He is helping more people leave by spewing this crap. Thank you Jeff for making my decision that much more easy.


Quote of the Day:

"The key to wisdom is this - constant and frequent questioning, for by doubting we are led to question and by questioning we arrive at the truth" - Peter Abelard

Video of the Day:

I was going to put the new video by Tyler Glenn ( Neon Trees lead singer ) called Trash.  But I decided not to add more fuel to the fire. I am sure you have heard about it or seen it.  To me its a great expression of anger and how he is feeling with his current belief in the Church and how the new handbook policies have affected him and others in the Church.  

So instead I will share his interview:









Sunday, April 3, 2016

Progress and Happiness

This Barn is placed facing a Cemetery in Idaho. What a great thing to see on the way out. I wonder how many smiles and how much comfort that has brought to families that are in mourning from burying their loved ones. 

Lately on Instagram I have gotten a ton of direct messages asking me to become a Coach and or join Workout systems and self help programs.  I am happy that they thought of me. But I am not looking to pay anyone for help in my life changing journey.  I know what needs to be done. I am slowly progressing to the person I want to be in my marriage, personal, spiritual, employment life.

One thing Liz and I like to talk about is that we are not the normal married couple. We don’t feel that we need to keep up with the Jones’s.  And that could be because we have constantly been at the low end poverty line for years. We just have adjusted to not needing much. Me more than Liz for sure. We have lost our possessions more than once and have moved more than we should have, but we have never felt lost together. I have no problem on just moving somewhere at a whim. I am trying to be better at having a more level head when it comes to those decisions.

 We have had our struggles as all couples do. Most of you know that we were separated for close to 9 months. That was from me being selfish and going out and trying to gain some acceptance and feeling some gratitude for what I was doing and not getting at home.  It was one of the biggest mistakes I have ever made. But I am better for it.  

You also know my stance on the Church and my spiritual journey. Getting away from the constant guilt that the Church places on you, be it subtle or in your face, has lifted such a burden that I carried on my shoulders and in my mind. I don’t feel any anxiety or fear for my eternal soul.  I am free. I am open. I am me. Take it or leave it.  I know in my heart that God loves me no matter what and does not pick and choose over petty things who gets into heaven. The 10 Commandments are his original constitution, the Church just added ammendments and Articles of Faith.

I have spent to many years living life day to day. I am starting to see what Life should be and I am meeting new and interesting people daily.  I talk to them on the bus, on instagram,  on their blogs.  Life is meant to be lived and I have waited to long to live it.  And yes, the health of Liz is a big hurdle to do what we can and want to do. But we are making it work. We are trying to minimize our life even more to be able to do what we want. We don’t want to be stuck in one place and get into a cemented routine.  Most of you are great examples to us on how to live life and what enjoyment is. We appreciate you all.

I hope that you take the time to look at your life and see what changes you would like to make. It can be something small or something big. It could take one time or many tries.  Continuing to grow, learn and develop is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves and others.

Quote of the Day:

“Work hard for what you want because it won't come to you without a fight. You have to be strong and courageous and know that you can do anything you put your mind to. If somebody puts you down or criticizes you, just keep on believing in yourself and turn it into something positive.” - Leah LaBelle

Video of the Day:

Titanium - Boyce Avenue




Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Where do we go from here???

I know most of you will not believe. That is OK.  Over the past few years I have had the chance to see what some may call Ghosts, shadow people.



I have always believed in spirits. I guess it goes back to childhood watching Halloween cartoons. My favorite still is the Headless Horseman.

 Something always struck me about the afterlife. I was never afraid of it. I have experienced death in many ways. I have seen accidents where people have died. I have been in rooms when I was CNA when some passed.  I have seen patients die in other rooms while sitting with Liz in hers.   I know that this is not the end.

Some of you know about the experience we had in Coeur D’Lane, Idaho. Liz and I both woke up at the same time and could feel a presence. I opened my eyes and saw a big black shadow at the foot of our bed with red eyes staring at us. Liz did not want to open her eyes.  It stayed for a few more seconds and than was gone.  We never saw or felt it again.

This is what I saw. Just at the foot of our bed, not on the side. 
                             
We currently live in my Great Grandparents old house. From the first week we moved in we have seen shadow person (s).  One night Liz and I were in the front room watching TV and we both saw a shadow poke its head out from the kitchen and back in. We both looked at each other and said did you see that.  It is always in the kitchen area where I see it. I have never seen it in any other room.  McKinley has told us about great grandma and how she protects her in her room. She says lives in her closet.  McKinley says she is very nice.   Liz recently has seen a taller shadow person who has tapped her on the shoulder a few times and whispered to her, she says its a man.   I have not seen him yet.  We do not have any sense that these are scary or that we should be fearful, like the one in Idaho.

I do know that our eyes and mind are not playing tricks on us.  I love knowing that OUR loved ones are around us at all times. Just because they are gone, does not mean that they are really gone.

Quote of the Day:





Video the Day:



Sunday, March 6, 2016

It is OK to have an opinion


The past few weeks i have received some emails and heard from people that I just need to shut up and if I hate Utah so much i should move and why do I care what the Church does or says. 

Well, i will tell you why.

I don't need to shut up. I have that right to say whatever i want, the same as you. I can state my opinions and if it rubs you the wrong way. So be it. That is fine. I am sure you will say things that I won't agree with, but I will never tell you to leave or ask you why do you care? Its good to care, its good to have opinions and thoughts. Don't shy away from offending anyone. It is OK to have an opinion.

I do no hate living here in Utah. I love it here. I grew up here. I have moved away and came back. And why do you think that is. Its because of the 4 Seasons, the mountains, nature, wildlife, small town feel, friends and family, and of course Liz and McKinley.  Liz enjoys this area. She loves the seasons. Warm, hot and humid climates are hard on her due to her HAE. So we stay here for her health. Plus all of her Medical Doctors are here. Why would we want to start over after almost 4 years of training these Doctors about her disease and the love and care they show Liz would be lost somewhere else.  Doctors here personally call and talk to Liz and see how she is doing. We could not get that in a bigger more populated city/area. So we are not leaving anytime soon, unless something drastic happens.

And the dreaded constant question of why do i care what the Church says or does? 

 Well since my start of parting ways with the Church I have had time to really look at some press releases by them and am sick and tired of them pushing their Agendas without as much as a whimper from most of our local, State and National politicians. Its seems that whatever the Church says they take it as " Oh, it has to be Right if the Church says it." They influence the LDS Politicians with Approaches and Reaching out and if any of them oppose the Church's ideas or thoughts Pressure mounts and other LDS politicians start to Approach and Reach out to the out of line Politician.  They are deciding for us what the best steps are for OUR families, our medical needs and our Rights of Free Speech and a whole other area of liberties that we enjoy. 

Here is a link to what i wrote to the local paper. Enjoy


So again, I say. It is OK to have an opinion.  Share it, don't hold back how you feel, if it something that is offensive to someone, that is one them, not you.  Life is all about constantly learning and realizing your full potential. For some its easy to see what they have to offer. For others it takes years to develop that. Its taken me years of hiding mostly who I was. I am done doing that. Liz's health problems have shown me that life is just too damn short too worry about.

Quote of the Day:

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition."
 - Steve Jobs -

Video of the Day:

Pride : American Authors  ( this is my new favorite song, the Message is great )



Thursday, February 25, 2016

Getting Rid of Baggage



I have recently taken steps to rid myself of negativity and emotional baggage.  It actually was easier than i thought it would be.

I got off of Facebook. I have tried this once before and it was good for a while. But i got back on to just give updates on Liz’s health and then it snowballed from there.  I would comment on stories or links and and share my opinions and it just got out of hand with people taking offense and not taking the time to see both sides to a discussion. It caused some people to end friendships and attack me personally and I did not see the need to continue that.   I know that I have said that if you get offended by anything i write or say its on YOU and not me, and for the most part that is true, but I also have to have peace of mind with myself and if I hurt others and make them feel anger or animosity than thats different to me.  We do not have to agree on everything, but when it starts getting to areas where things are said that are hurtful and mean than its time to step back and see what is really behind that. And it is usually not the subject being discussed.  So I decided to quit Facebook cold-turkey. Its been great.

I have had some pent up emotional issues/memories from past problems. I held on to them for far to long. I have let them go. There was no reason to hold on to them. I let them run through my mind for years and it affected me because of it. I feel like a big weight has been lifted. Will i forget? No. But I will not harbor them. They will come and go.  I need the extra space that is now opening up for new uplifting memories.

The journey of bettering myself continues.

Quote of the Day:

“Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you're doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You can choose to not let little things upset you.” - Joel Osteen

Video of the Day:

Lost in the Echo - Linkin Park


Thursday, February 18, 2016

Are you Offended?????


I have never been one to hide how i feel.  You could read it on my face, actions, demeanor or when i verbally expressed myself.  To me that is one of the best things about living in America. You have the choice to do whatever you want.

For the past few weeks I have read and heard a lot of discouraging news. Its hard to see what the world is developing into. Its a place where if someone is “offended”, it has to get changed immediately to appease them. We are trying to accommodate everyone and all that leads to is more laws because one group feels that another is getting better treatments. It is a never ending cycle.

One thing that really irritates me is at my work.  There are a few people who are “worried” about offending someone/group if we get American Flags on our uniforms. Are you kidding me?  We live in America. Its the USA.  I have said from the first day that I started working at CVTD we needed Flags on our uniform. I could care less who it offends.  I am glad that there is an overwhelming vote for YES to the Flags.

Being a driver I deal with many different types of people, races, backgrounds and I try to give each and every one of them respect. But that respect needs to go both ways.  I have never gone up to the guy who has a swastika tattooed on his head that he needs to cover it up. Its his decision to be who he is. Do i agree with it. NO. Its a choice that we make daily on who we want to be.  I never get on the mic and say that passengers have to speak English only. I am glad that i know some of the slang and swear words, because I can dissuade that.

I feel that one of the most damaging things that constantly go on is the Push and Pull from all the political parties. They all want the same result in helping America become better, but they go about it is such asinine ways that nothing gets accomplished without someone insulting the other. Its a Cycle.  We are trying to accommodate every ones feelings and place them into laws and amendments and it will never work the way they want.

I have thought about getting into Politics, but i do know that my persona would rub people the wrong way. I go with my gut. I will listen to both sides and decide for myself.  I would not last long. I would upset many groups.  Plus I don’t have the stamina to go around in circles in a debate.

Quote of the Day:

“If you're not offending one group of people, you're not entertaining the other."

-Blake Shelton-




Friday, February 5, 2016

Decluttering my Mind



These past few weeks I have had the chance to clear my mind of many stresses, thoughts and constant worries. Its been very theraputic for me to post on this blog. It has helped me get feelings out.

I have always been a thinker. I would worry and constantly go over things in my head. Liz says that I think too much. And I do. I am trying to be better at that. I always have to look at all the sides of anything to make sure that its good, will work, or what needs to be done.

This is my year of CHANGE. It is happening faster than i expected. It has been very nice to see my attitude change for the better. I don't worry as much. I don't complain as much. Most things are seemingly falling into place without much effort. Its new to me, but also exciting. I hope people can see it or sense it.

I don't want to be the same untactful, say what i think at all times person.

I know I will still have the occasional cluttered mind. But now I know that i can control and push them out. I will keep pushing myself daily to be better and to continue my overall Change.

I found this list of ways to help declutter and I have it saved in my phone so I can have it as a reminder:



Quote of the Day:

" The more I examine the issue of clutter, the more effort I put into combating it, because it really does act as a weight." - Gretchen Rubin

Song of the Day:

Follow your Arrow - Kacey Musgraves



Sunday, January 31, 2016

Starting to feel and see the Changes


I am feeling good. My mind doesn't seemed muddled with tons of thoughts and worries. And i really believe that it has to do with the Changes that i am making. There have been a mirade of changes that i can see. I feel better. I sleep better. I don't hurt at all. I used to wake up with sore joints and muscles and I do not have that anymore. Liz has said that I look like i have lost weight. And i feel that. I feel lighter. And this time it has not been hard. I think its because I finally made up my mind to do something about it and to continue to improve myself in all areas of my life.

I am also seeing changes in my mood spiritually. Some of my posts have irked some people and that is understandable. And that is also ok. I am not going to change them to fit what they want to hear. But i have also not bashed the Church as some have said. I am not Anti. And Yes. I still believe in God, Jesus and Good vs Evil.

I wrote this on my friends facebook page after he shared this. I am sure some of you read or saw it. But I will share what he wrote and than what i wrote. It clarifies things for me and I hope for you with where I am spiritually, since my decision has made some of you abandon our friendships and pull away from me.

Part of what he wrote: This is the part that struck me and I have tried to explain, but i never put my words behind scriptures. 


Alma Chapter 30:7-11
7 Now there was no law against a man’s belief; for it was strictly contrary to the commands of God that there should be a law which should bring men on to unequal grounds.

8 For thus saith the scripture: Choose ye this day, whom ye will serve.

9 Now if a man desired to serve God, it was his privilege; or rather, if he believed in God it was his privilege to serve him; but if he did not believe in him there was no law to punish him.

10 But if he murdered he was punished unto death; and if he robbed he was also punished; and if he stole he was also punished; and if he committed adultery he was also punished; yea, for all this wickedness they were punished.

11 For there was a law that men should be judged according to their crimes. Nevertheless, there was no law against a man’s belief; therefore, a man was punished only for the crimes which he had done; therefore all men were on equal grounds.

*My response*

As the Scripture above says, its each persons individual choice. I feel that sometimes Members of the Church have a hard time differentiating between that. Just because a person leaves the Church, its not anything against their friends, families or leaders. Its a choice that they feel is right for them. So when we see people taking our decisions personal and then trying to put something negative on it, it hurts. I have said this before; I could care less how you are spiritually, its each persons choice, but why is your WAY better than mine, when it even says in the Scriptures that its OK. People who have a conflict with the Church and have left, it does not necessarily mean that they have lost their faith or belief in God. But that is one of the things that members of the Church assume. We it comes to me, I believe in God, Jesus, the battle between Good and Evil. I just have no interest in wasting time anymore with an organization that I don't believe in. It does not mean that I have lost my spiritual side.

I am excited to see and feel the continuing changes not only in me physically or mentally, but also in all around Life. I finally feel that i am slowly getting a grasp on who I am and where i want to be and continue to go. 

I hope you are well and hope to hear from you.

Quote of the Day:

" I feel myself becoming the fearless person I have dreamt of being. Have I arrived? No. But I'm constantly evolving and challenging myself to be unafraid to make mistakes." - Janelle Monae

Video of the Day:

Living in the Moment - Jason Mraz





Friday, January 22, 2016

Touched some Nerves lately???


A few of my posts have touched a nerve with some people.  Most of the responses I have gotten have been great and very supportive.  But there have been a few that say I should apologize for things I have written.  And I have thought about that. And I have to say I have nothing to apologize for. 
 I stated at the top of my blog that these are MY opinions and thoughts.  I am not going to sensor myself because it will offend someone.   I have not written anything that I would or have not said before.  Most people who know me, know that I can be blunt, untactful, and have a don’t care attitude.  And I try not to show that side of me and I have even tried to be better at thinking before I speak. But sometimes if the subject gets me riled enough I will speak my mind. I have that right, as do all of us.

 I also am fair. I don’t judge.  There might be arguments, but the main thing is that we will probably agree to disagree and that we always won’t see eye to eye. That is ok. That is what makes America great. We don’t all have to step to the same beat. We can eat, say, drink and do whatever we want. It might offend some, but that is ok.  As long as you are not forcefully trying to make someone do or believe what you do.

You should learn something every day and take away something from it.  I will never ever force my beliefs on anyone else.  That is one thing I believe. You have the right to follow and do what you think is right.  If you don’t like something change it, speak up, but you should also realize that there will always be opposition and people who do not believe what you do.

Some of the things I believe that some don’t are:



Friends of Bill and Hilary Clinton death rate are extremely high. They are being silenced.

Most of the LDS Church History, and how it has been taught over the years. And the ever changing historical facts with the Church essays and trying to become more in line with what ex Mormons and anti-Mormons have stated for years before the Essays. Their double standards and business dealings.

The Gov’t was behind 9-11, JFK

The Gov’t routinely stages events and shootings to push their propaganda. Just look at Sandy Hook and some of the weird things around that.  

Global Warming is a myth.  It is the Earths own cycle and how it lives and develops its self. Do we have a hand in it? Sure. But only a small bit.

Big Pharma is only in it for the money. They have cures of certain diseases, but will not bring them out because they would lose trillions if people started to get better. They only treat symptoms not the disease.

So those are a few of my beliefs and hopefully you will have an open mind as I will with your beliefs as well.

I hope you continue to read my posts and comment or email me. I love to talk and discuss things in a civilized manner. Anger, name calling, rudeness and threats will be deleted and I will not respond.

Quote(s) of the Day:

“We don’t need to share the same opinions as others, but we need to be respectful” – Taylor Swift

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” – Steve Jobs

Video of the Day: Normally I would try to find something to match the mood and subject matter of my blog, but today. I just want to feel good and have here is a feel good song.


Alright – Darius Rucker


Saturday, January 2, 2016

This Years Bucket List


I have tried for years to do a bucket list and have tried to make some checkmarks on it.  It has not been going that well. Sure, i have done some fun things and got to travel and enjoy spending time with Liz and Peanut, but I put off things for me. Liz says that i need to start doing things for myself and to enjoy what I used to do or feel like I need to do.

The list is varied and not long. It is a mix of emotional, physical, mental and spiritual things that I want to accomplish this year. Some will take hard work and dedication and some will be pretty simple. But I want to make this year a great year for not only myself, but for Liz, Peanut and everyone i love and care about.

#1. Lose weight. I am not putting a number or a specific weight. I don't need that. I just want to feel good for me, and when i am there, I will know. This will be my main goal for the year. Its time i focus on it. I want to be around for a long time and right now with the way my body is acting, its needed.

#2. Draw more. I used to love to draw. I have done some painting and little sketches here and there the past few years, i just need to focus on it and do it. I was pretty good before i stopped.

#3. Listen to music more and watch less TV.

#4. Go for one hike a week. It could be the Logan River Trail. the Wind Caves , White Pine Lake, China Wall or any other area that i enjoy.

#5. Go camping 2 or 3 times with no phone service, internet or alarm clock. Just some food, books, sketch pad, fishing pole and my camera. Decompress with no distractions.

#6. Read one book a month. It could be more, depending on the book subjects or series that I choose.

#7. Take 2 or 3 trips with just Liz and I.

#8. Daddy Daughter Date night once a month with Peanut.  She does want to do a bigfoot hunt with me one night. * As you know, i am a believer *

#9. Show love and caring for the friends and family that i have neglected.

#10. Smile more, pray more, and be Happy a lot more.

Like i said, its not a long list. I might add to it or take some away. Depending on how things line up for me and our situations. Things change around here a lot.


Quote of the Day:

"Arriving at one goal is the starting point to another."
- John Dewey -

Video of the Day:
- Don't Stop me Now - Queen ( to me this is the greatest Rock and Roll Band )