Sunday, October 2, 2016

What are you Standing For?

Yesterday the LDS Church had their start of the annual LDS Conference and one of the talks was asking all members to "stand up" for Joseph Smith and to fight the "erroneous, slanderous and historical errors about him and the Church." I am paraphrasing of course. I am not going to do that. Most of you, who have read my posts about my losing faith in the Church, my life long struggles with it and my finally realizing that the Church is false will see this is not new from me.

I know I have said this before, but Do not Doubt your Doubts. 

Are you standing for what you were taught or for what you know? And there is a difference between knowing because of being taught and told and knowing because of learning/studying for yourself.

Why would want to be apart of a Church that for years has told/taught that if you have questions to go out and learn and research but only Church approved doctrine/subjects?  Some of the most damaging information is found on the Church's own website and in its archives.  Here is a quote:

On Truth and Questioning

"There is a temptation for the writer or the teacher of Church history to want to tell everything, whether it is worthy or faith promoting or not. Some things that are true are not very useful." (Boyd K. Packer, "The Mantle is Far, Far Greater Than the Intellect," CES Symposium on the Doctrine and Covenants and Church History, Aug. 22 1981, Brigham Young University.)

Before you stand for Joseph Smith, heck even the Church, please study the real history and look at how you feel, not what others want you to feel. If you are happy with what you know and don't want to know more that is great. Its fine to feel stable to feel safe. Just don't blindly believe everything that is said over the pulpit, taught in class or published in magazines. 

I look back on my time in the Church, with the constant struggle of wanting to fit in, to be what I thought a man should be and what a woman would want. I was constantly conflicted with who I was. I hated myself. I had guilt, shame and felt spiritually empty. I was told that i needed to live better, to pray more, to have faith, to pay tithing, go to the temple, be more focused on service and accepting callings, to read the Scriptures more.  I tried. I did all of that and what did it get me. Nothing. None of the promises/promptings from the leaders ever panned out. I heard from Bishops that if I do these things, i would find the one to marry with in whatever time period they said, some said 6 months, some said a year.  But of course, if it did not happen it was because I had no faith and was not doing what i was supposed to. 

 I look back on that and following what i was told made me miss out on a lot of what i am experiencing now.  And of course most people will swing it around and say, " YOU would have never met Liz and had McKinley", if you did not have those trials and tests. And Yes  I am truly blessed with having them in my life. I would not be who I am today without them, but I am not going to say it was inspired by God or because of past trials. It was just the perfect time for US.  

My decision to no longer be a member is not really hard on Liz. She sees that I am happier. We do not fight / argue at all anymore, sure we have disagreements, but they don't bring down our relationship as when we argued about Church. 

Recently, I have had a few people try to convince me to come back to Church. To become a beacon in the ward, because they know I have so much to give. I am sorry, but that is not going to happen. I have been clear on my thoughts, actions, posts on here, Instagram and when I was on Facebook.  I know they mean well, but I can only be nice so long until I have had enough. 

Quote of the Day:

"Religion is run by thought police. 'Obey. Listen. This is what you do. Don't ask questions."

- Tommy Chong -

Video of the Day:

True Colors -Justin Timberlak and Anna Kendrick

I just like this version of the song.


  1. I used to be a mormon; raised in the church, graduated from Seminary, did a mission, went to the Y, got engaged in three months, married at the end of the school year in the temple, called to be an EQP, and was a good little drone.

    But it's a stultifying religion! Homosexuality. Evolution. Equality. Personal Growth. None of these are faced with an open mind. All the church cares about is pray, obey and pay.

    Viewed from just about any perspective, other than ye olde mormon perspective, mormonism is a pain in the butt; it takes, takes, takes and then you have to clean toilets.

    I'm my own man, not a mor-man.

  2. Everything you say is true. But if people can change then so can churches.